Stop Being a Door Mat

Whether you're looking to get ahead in your career or stand up for yourself to your family and friends, assertiveness is a skill that can be learned. Leaning to be more assertive will boost your confidence and help you take control of your life. In this article we'll explore the benefits of being assertive and the methods you can use to become more self assured.Being a Yes Man
The problem with always saying yes, especially at work, is that you'll continually increase your workload and eventually it will become unmanageable. Your work/home life will become unbalanced and you'll most likely feel like people are taking advantage of you. Take a step back and look at the bigger picture. If you are constantly saying yes to people identify the impact that saying yes is having on you and your life.

Make A Change
Make a journal and write down the areas in your life where you feel you're saying yes to things that you either don't want to do or unable to do. Also make note of the people that you are unable to say no to. Also include the consequences of you saying yes. Make a note of who else is affected. For example, if your boss asks you to stay late at work and you agree to do so how will it affect your children, your spouse or even your pet.

Know the difference between being assertive and being aggressive. These traits are very different. Assertiveness is about standing up for your rights while respecting the rights of others. Always remember that the only person you can control is yourself and that you are responsible for your own actions.

Taking Control
There are a few small changes that you can make in your interactions with other people that will help to boost your confidence and help you take control of your life.

  • When conversing with someone take the emotion out of the equation. Use facts and not feelings when discussing matters.
  • It's important to have the right attitude. Being assertive means bringing a positive, respectful and constructive attitude to a relationship.
  • Be clear about where you stand. Use concise sentences that don't leave things open to interpretation.
  • Don't beat around the bush. Cut to the chase and get to the bottom line first. Reasons, explanations and details can follow.

It's also important to learn what not to do. Don't turn your ideas or thoughts into questions. Questions weaken or waters down your position. You will come off as being indecisive and lacking confidence.

Benefits
There are many benefits to becoming more assertive including making you more effective and when you become more effective you'll see many changes in your life.

  • Become more confident, positive and cooperative
  • Manage people more effectively
  • Increase your productivity
  • feel more in control
  • Reduce stress
  • develop skills to give feedback, critique and praise
  • Learn to change your internal dialogue
  • develop proactive instead of reactive behaviour

As you can see there are many benefits to learning the skill of assertiveness. It may take some practice and some time before you feel totally confident but it's worth sticking it out . A more confident, positive person is a more influential person.

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